Hilarious Online Book Reviews
Most of us have written book reviews, in the hopes of helping fellow consumers make the right purchase. And most of us have had the experience of reading a book and just not getting it. But when those two experiences are combined, we get: The Most Hilarious Book Reviews Ever. It’s hard to say if these are the worst book reviews we’ve ever seen or if they’re actually the best. But whatever way you characterize them, these are some of our favorite book reviews from around the web and around the world. Most are intentionally funny book reviews, some are written to prove a point, and some are just clueless.
A Review of The Bible, From Goodreads:
“Badly edited, poor continuity and internal consistency. Authors seem to change between books. Plot is cliched and thin, with virtually no character development save for Judas Iscariot. The main characters of Jesus and Moses are entirely one dimensional messianic figures. The novel opens with Adam and Eve, and then ignores them for the next thousand pages or so. The built-in bookmark was a nice touch, but a little pretentious. Oddly, it wasn’t shelved with the other fiction books.” SEE THE REVIEW
A Review of Where is Baby’s Belly Button:
“This book is completely misleading. The entire plot revolves around finding Baby’s belly button; the title makes this much clear from the beginning. However, there is no mystery. There is no twist. Baby’s belly button is right where it’s suppose to be, on Baby’s stomach. Right where it clearly SHOWS you it is on the COVER OF THE BOOK.
This plot is a complete mess as a result of it’s reliance on the mystery of where the belly button is; everything falls apart the second you realize that the belly button was in plain sight all along. There is no conflict, there is no character development, and there is scarcely any plot. Whoever wrote this book must have a serious error in judgement, because you would have to be an infant to not immediately understand where Baby’s belly button is. This is one of the worst pieces of literature I have ever read.” SEE THE REVIEW
A Review of The Catcher in the Rye, From Amazon:
“This book was a complete waste of paper. It had some interesting points but, it had no plot. It also turned out to be a major dissappointment (sic) because it ended so poorly. It should have been some elaborate lie that he had thought up while telling his sister. His parents should have played a bigger role in the book. The one part I did like was him talking to his brother.” SEE THE REVIEW
An Amazon Review of How to Avoid Huge Ships:
“I live near a park and frequently walk around the local area. Given the amount of dog mess that is on the pavements I thought this book would be the ideal read to stop me having to scrape my shoes on the grass before going home. It was only after it arrived that I looked closely at the title and realised it said ‘How to Avoid Huge SHIPS’. A simple error that means I am still treading on massive examples of canine excrement. Having said that, I read the book anyway, and I’m pleased to say I’m not even having near misses with huge ships anymore. No sir, they aint getting anywhere near me!” SEE THE REVIEW
2 Reviews of A Million Random Digits with 100,000 Normal Deviates:
“Such a terrific reference work! But with so many terrific random digits, it’s a shame they didn’t sort them, to make it easier to find the one you’re looking for.”
“Wait for the audiobook version. While the printed version is good, I would have expected the publisher to have an audiobook version as well. A perfect companion for one’s Ipod.”
A Review of Fifty Shades of Gray, from Goodreads
“What in the hell just happened? Did I really read that? Oh, my god, I did. I did read that.”
NOT ACTUALLY A BOOK REVIEW BUT WE COULDN’T RESIST
George Takei’s Review of The Best Of David Hasselhoff CD
“THIS DAVID IS A GOLIATH!
When “Knight Rider” and “Bay Watch” ended, I felt a distinct void in my life. Without Hasselfhoff’s bouncing pecs gracing my television, life simply felt drab and unfulfilling. Imagine my delight when I discovered that Hasselhoff had not disappeared at all, but rather REEMERGED, this time as a serious force in music. It reminded me of when Leonard Nimoy had recorded his stirring tribute to Tolkien, “The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins.” It was that moving and momentous for me.
Honestly, few Americans truly appreciate how Hasselhoff singularly reshaped the entire landscape of German music. Auf wiedersehen, Amadeus. Hasselhoff ist hier!
I particularly recommend the track “Do the Limbo Dance” but am giving the album just four stars because I’m a bit disappointed that he didn’t stick with the original German version, “Tanzen Limbo, Ya!”